Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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