I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize