if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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