Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize