Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
