He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
