my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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