Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
