You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize