Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal http://tfl.nu/6ttq
  Replies (10) Good night (3507) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night. http://tfl.nu/xigq
  Replies (5) Good night (4390) Bad night (1183) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is. http://tfl.nu/or0q
  Replies (20) Good night (4444) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"? http://tfl.nu/h7i9
  Replies (11) Good night (2260) Bad night (1640) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander. http://tfl.nu/mcls
  Replies (5) Good night (1299) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go. http://tfl.nu/ktl8
  Replies (14) Good night (1845) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Agreed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree? (1-303): Agreed. http://tfl.nu/l0rd
  Replies (7) Good night (1251) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties. http://tfl.nu/dl3v
  Replies (11) Good night (1709) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work. http://tfl.nu/jgfn
  Replies (8) Good night (1608) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part. http://tfl.nu/d1vu
  Replies (3) Good night (1996) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week. http://tfl.nu/5pj6
  Replies (9) Good night (1747) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being http://tfl.nu/rzj7
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess. http://tfl.nu/kvya
  Replies (7) Good night (1571) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life. http://tfl.nu/7mk5
  Replies (18) Good night (626) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die. http://tfl.nu/zxmz
  Replies (7) Good night (2323) Bad night (301)

Randomize