Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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