Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl

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  (313): I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl http://tfl.nu/zim9
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (1180)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think I'm in Tiajuana

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I could be

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  (706): I think I'm in Tiajuana (404): You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago (706): I could be http://tfl.nu/4kta
  Replies (13) Good night (2143) Bad night (659)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Sounds like a really classy character....

  (478): View more from Georgia

  He is classy. It was argyle.

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  (478): So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis (410): Sounds like a really classy character.... (478): He is classy. It was argyle. http://tfl.nu/j1fr
  Replies (18) Good night (6598) Bad night (679)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich

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  (905): Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich http://tfl.nu/gjvv
  Replies (107) Good night (958) Bad night (14884)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.

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  (484): i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman. http://tfl.nu/dzx3
  Replies (55) Good night (7211) Bad night (916)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.

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  (413): i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur. http://tfl.nu/9vxg
  Replies (11) Good night (5787) Bad night (1206)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.

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  (937): The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15. http://tfl.nu/cktg
  Replies (24) Good night (1251) Bad night (4295)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".

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  (812): We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells". http://tfl.nu/8dsx
  Replies (8) Good night (4274) Bad night (983)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.

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  (248): He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it. http://tfl.nu/f1b3
  Replies (2) Good night (1148) Bad night (638)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.

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  (479): You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them. http://tfl.nu/prpm
  Replies (1) Good night (1133) Bad night (425)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.

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  (330): Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson. http://tfl.nu/3wwn
  Replies (6) Good night (1231) Bad night (501)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa

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  (240): Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa http://tfl.nu/w8sz
  Replies (3) Good night (614) Bad night (349)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  So many things can go wrong tonight.

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  (770): So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun? (404): So many things can go wrong tonight. http://tfl.nu/anjg
  Replies (3) Good night (1230) Bad night (332)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day

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  (734): my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day http://tfl.nu/yw74
  Replies (0) Good night (640) Bad night (240)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.

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  (402): All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail. http://tfl.nu/8ssh
  Replies (3) Good night (461) Bad night (283)

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