Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.

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  (727): He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple. http://tfl.nu/vn0p
  Replies (34) Good night (1034) Bad night (12551)
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  (518): View more from New York

  you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly

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  (518): you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly http://tfl.nu/e809
  Replies (23) Good night (865) Bad night (5320)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101

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  (972): My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101 http://tfl.nu/qihv
  Replies (23) Good night (4232) Bad night (651)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.

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  (717): Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate. http://tfl.nu/t5hj
  Replies (31) Good night (6105) Bad night (1619)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?

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  (832): Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones? http://tfl.nu/bhpj
  Replies (7) Good night (2363) Bad night (991)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.

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  (705): I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it. http://tfl.nu/m045
  Replies (3) Good night (1400) Bad night (657)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase

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  (717): You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase http://tfl.nu/khjs
  Replies (3) Good night (1597) Bad night (700)
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  (408): View more from California

  She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety

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  (408): She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety http://tfl.nu/edsh
  Replies (10) Good night (3449) Bad night (999)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.

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  (605): I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming. http://tfl.nu/djrq
  Replies (15) Good night (1400) Bad night (3377)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.

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  (517): I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level. http://tfl.nu/jhvn
  Replies (12) Good night (1731) Bad night (817)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.

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  (609): Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him. http://tfl.nu/6jaw
  Replies (9) Good night (2762) Bad night (555)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'd say they're off to a great start!

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  (703): Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles. (571): I'd say they're off to a great start! http://tfl.nu/1lyt
  Replies (4) Good night (2207) Bad night (583)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month

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  (517): well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month http://tfl.nu/fhen
  Replies (5) Good night (664) Bad night (1647)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me

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  (360): it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me http://tfl.nu/wv06
  Replies (1) Good night (331) Bad night (455)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump

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  (585): Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump http://tfl.nu/n5lk
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (327)

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