Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.

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(415): View more from California

i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.

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(513): View more from Ohio

i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore

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(661): View more from California

Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(360): View more from Washington

I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...

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(415): View more from California

they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

welcome to the club.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!

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