I am puke
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
