I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
