His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
