This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
