Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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