Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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