suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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