just come out here and I will go home with you...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
