WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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