when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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