Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
where does the pee come out of this thing
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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