Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
