There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
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it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
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Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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