It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
did you just send me my own nude
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
