i dedicated my morning wood to you.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
