ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
