i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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