did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My balls are so social today.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
