he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
