You work out of a Hotel?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
