well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
