this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We have started to decorate penises.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize