I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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