She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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