I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
