Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
