im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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