no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
