Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
