ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
