was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
