I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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