I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
