beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
