all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
