no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
