On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
