My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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