hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize