Sry I called you an 8
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
