wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
