Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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