I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
