I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
