Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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