they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
