So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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