just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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