You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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